Today was insane. We had a long break from 10am to 4pm. I was bored to death like seriously. I felt like going home but what's the use anyway since there's no mommy at home, right? I miss my mommy. Okay, enough of mommy. Haha. But yet again today, it was madness at the end. Some girl was just so hyper upon hearing that her special someone accepted her best friend in facebook. Sigh. Madness. I understand how you felt girl but I was shocked though. Never have I seen something like that from you. Haha. I like. Now I know how I look like when I'm feeling the same thing. Ahhhhh.

[	Current Mood	|	good	]
[	Current Music	|	No Promises - Shayne Ward	]

I can't believe it's almost going to be the second month of semester two. Feels like it just started though. And gah, nothing goes in my brain. Especially with TBW, nothing is processed. I've got to start studying every now and then. Yeah, I must. I've also been missing out lessons in my religious class. Every Saturday when I go there, I felt so lost. I can't remember a single thing because yet again, I've not been revising. What was I doing? What was I thinking? Tsk tsk tsk.

And dude, my rule is very simple. You can be friends with as many girls as you like (including your ex) but with one condition. Just don't have any special feelings for them especially towards your ex because it just hurt me so much to see you with her. But hey, I'm not being emo here. I'm trying to be optimistic especially in times like this.

Khairuzan has taught me quite a lot and it makes me feel much better. He said, "I think it is important to see our own mistakes although it's very difficult to do so. Most of the time, we end up blaming the other party because of a failed relationship. Remember, love is beautiful and we have to respect love like we respect ourselves. I'm not lah the hitch or anything. As far as I know, I still have a lot to learnt from this also. But whatever it is, ingat study comes first. Dengar lah kate mak bapak. Janganlah matair-matair dulu. Later in life can. Kalau dah gatal, kahwin sudah. Sorry, tu yang selalu mak I yg ckp. Anyway, do put your studies as your first priority. But for your case, don't let it affect your studies. " Okay, this is one reason why I love talking to him. Thank you so much bro. And here are some tips from him too.

TIPS:

1. Strong in religion
- This element of religion is very useful. No religion teaches us to be bad. Religion teaches us to be patient and learn how to react to certain situations. We learnt to respect people, including our partner. I can bet you your relationship will rarely have arguments. Serious!

2. Confident in yourself
- As Oasis's saying goes " Don't look back in anger". Sometimes the grass are greener at the other side. So look forward and think positive. Old flames are difficult to go away but if you still love him/her, remember, as long as he/she hasn't got married, you still got chance. Must think that way aite. And of course, learn from your past failures and don't repeat it.

3. Moments Of Romance
- When you are down and everything seems to go wrong, do not let it loose completely. Bring back the memories, moments before the courtship, the time when you wanna tackle her, the time when you two had a perfect time together, the time when you said I MISS YOU or I LOVE YOU. Bring back all those memories and confirm, you will cherish your partner more.

4. No to one-sided
-Don't do things just to please your partner alone. In a relationship, both parties need to play their part. Happy together-gether, sad together-gether, everything must experience together lah! That will be better right? If there is anything to be discussed, go ahead! Share what you like and what you dislike and understand each other's interest. You Never Walk Alone!

5. Advice
-Advising each other is important so as to remain strong in the relationship. But of course, let your tone be nice when you're advising. Don't shout lah. Of course, the other party will be pissed off.

6. Don't look down on your partner
-As the saying goes again, " No one is perfect". Accept the way your partner is. Remember, inner beauty is much more important because it will last for a lifetime. Even if your partner is not as pretty as Siti Nurhaliza or as handsome as Taufik Batisah, your partner is already a God's gift. So, appreciate your partner!

7. Promise
-Promise is a very delicate thing which can easily be broken. So be careful the next time when you want to make a promise. Do not promise the things that you know you can't do it because, once broken it is considered sold! You sold his/her trust away! Trust is very important to keep the relationship strong, so do not give it away cheaply!

8. Always be on her side
-This goes especially to the guys. Usually guys take for granted that the girls is always okay. Not good man! Must make an effort to be with her always because remember, you choose her to be your lovely partner right? So cherish them and don't neglect them! Sadist you know. Human beings do have feelings which need to be taken care of.

9. Communication
-This is an important aspect in the relationship. Remember, when having problems, share and solve it together. Got plans, discuss. Got anything to share, just share. Don't keep it to yourself. The best thing is, communicate in person until both party understand it so that there will be no misunderstandings.

10. No harsh words
-Lastly, do not ever scold or scream at your partner. Especially guys again in this case. Mood swing or having a bad day, at least, do not affect it to your partner too. Control your voice when you're angry and control your actions when you're pissed off. As guys, you need to know that girls is an emotional being. So learn to keep cool and use your brain, not your feelings!

(Fyi, I didn't write these tips. They are his tips.)

I was looking through my friend's facebook when I saw this

Things have changed ever since Farhanah came. They don't know about this though because all long until now I kept it to myself. I miss them so much ):

Three years baby, three years.
I'll be there and will always stay there, insyallah.

[	Current Mood	|	sad	]
[	Current Music	|	that's what you get - paramore	]

I thought you're going to come but I was wrong. Mom was pissed, dad was waiting and I was disappointed. I was being fair enough to look at both sides but you didn't appreciate it. I don't like your presence now, not anymore.

I miss you mom. I miss you dad ):

[

Current Mood

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tired

]

This week so far has been awesome ;)

Thank you so much for the wonderful wonderful musical box. I've always wanted one of those. I suke yang teramat sangat. Yesterday was love :D

My parents is going on the 16th which means I'm not coming to school on that day because I'm going to send them off to the airport. I'm going to miss them so much. Initially it was on the 20th but somehow they moved it forward. Everything won't be the same without them. I got to take care of my brother, do housework, etc.

I thought the drama was over but I guess it just won't. I'm sick and tired of it all, like really. I don't know want to say anymore. I see the both sides so I don't really know which one to blame. But sometimes thinking about it just makes me want to cry. Every night, I stare into space and ponder what I could do to help the situation but it doesn't help at all. Everyday I pray that everything is going to be alright. Well, I guess God knows better.

I'm still amazed at the fact that it only take 15 minutes to get to YCK frm BP. I want a motorbike! Okay, maybe next year <3
 

You see life is a crazy thing
There'll be good times and there'll be bad times
And everything in between
And I don't know which way it's going to go.

If it's going to be a rainy day
There's nothing we can do to make it change
We can pray for sunny weather
But that won't stop the rain.

Somehow, I'm trembling from within.
I don't know why, but I am.
And fear grips me like no other. I'm afraid.

Lets start with Friday. That Friday was a hilarious Friday. Word of the day, "Airport". I don't know why many people kept saying that word. As usual, the class was waiting for all to arrived at YCK MRT control station before we left for school. So there was a Chinese guy randomly came in front of a Chinese woman and asked her, "Are these people waiting for the plane?" I mean like what's up with MRT and aeroplane? So far off. Lmao. He thought that MRT station is an airport. How funny can he get? Like seriously. Must be Sharon's uncle. Haha.

Then in the afternoon, Mas called me and started scolding me just because she can't get through my mom. Then mom called and scolded me as well because she can't call anyone. I mean like what's wrong with everyone scolding me? I was already upset when my brother's teacher called and scolded me too! Gosh, why must everyone scold me if they can't get through the person they're pissed with. Seriously, I was depressed the whole practical after that. But it turn out to be a hilarious thing when I got home. I don't know how to explain things here but I swear I felt so stupid for being all upset for no reason. Haha.

Saturday was my dad's birthday. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DADDY! I'm going to miss you so much. Okay, I feel like crying now. Oh well, oh well. We didn't celebrate dad's birthday this year because everyone is busy preparing for Sunday's kenduri. So on Saturday, Cik Nong, Kak Dila, Nek Yana and my mom was preparing for Sunday. Super chaotic, I tell you. I mean you know lah when the makciks come together, simple things also they make big. Haha. Then many people also came and go to I think visit my parents before they go so yeah. I was very happy to get to see them. When cousins get together, everything is simply chaotic :DDD

So yesterday, for the first time I get to see Rezza. Oh my God, he's super cute I must say. And his sister, Hana, is super pretty. Kak Ira's fiance, is super handsome!!! Opps, I hope she doesn't see this. Hehe. So yeah, it was tiring but fun. Hundred over cousins from my mom's side and maybe just a few from my dad's side. Its been a long time since we all come together, see one another and just share stories. I love my family <3

As of yesterday night, I really hope one day I'll wake up and some how just feel so tired of being emo and thinking about someone who doesn't care about me and eventually I'll forget why I even liked him in the first place. I know I have to give it time. There are good days there are bad days. I guess that's about it.
 

[	Current Mood	|	calm	]
[	Current Music	|	Falling For You - Busted	]

1. Don't hate me as I give him up for you so appreciate and stop looking at me as if I owe you something.
2. Don't hate me just because your ex leaves you for me. Be like me. I know how you feel, girl. I'm really sorry. I hope you'll get a better one. Friends.

So for these two women:
Just so you know, you're making me feel guilty for the things that I didn't do wrong. I don't know what else to say. No comment lah. I just can't be bothered anymore.

Adam is in NS now. Okay, he has been there a few months already but slow lah me. So I could only see him during the weekends which is GOOD! And oh, so is his brother. Hehe.

Thank you for so much for making me feel better. I usually keep things to myself but now talking it out to someone, makes things better. You're right. I owe you one :D

A few wrong turns make a right.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday are nearing. I can't wait to see all my cousins. I miss the kecoh-ness <3

Okay, till here for today because I got a lot of things to do now. Proposal, report, eat, watch TV and then go to sleep. Hehe.
 

[

Current Mood

|

disappointed

]

Deep down, I know you don't even care about me. All I wanted was for you to care but you don't seemed to be bothered. Why all the lies? I know I don't know you. Oh well, it's okay (:

For the bitch who calls me a bitch:
Know me before you judge me because I'm not who you think I am. And if you think I care that you hugged him, I actually don't. Big deal. I don't even like him. I've learnt my lesson. And do you think I'm that stupid that I don't even know you're blogging about me? Uh, whatever. I don't even know you. Before you lash out your thoughts, hear me out because it's better that way. It's not nice to call someone you don't know, a bitch. It's so insulting.

Next Sunday is going to be fun because I get to see all my cousins. My house is just going to be chaotic, I tell you. Oh man, I can't wait. Can we like fast-forward then slow down after that? My parents is going on the 20th of November and I'm going to miss them a lot a lot. I'm going to be sad but deep deep down, I'm very happy for them. I'll pray for them without fail everyday, hopefully.

And it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. I'm so dissapointed. I want my life back - the one I used to live.

Happy 18th Birthday Diviya :D

[

Current Mood

|

sleepy

]

I felt so useless as a best friend. I can't even cheer her up when she's down. I can only listen. What a pathetic friend I am. I always wish that I could advise and give suggestions when they need but somehow I could only listen. Well, I tried to advise but somehow I know it will make matter worse so I might as well just listen. Uh, I wish I could be better.

So specially for my best friend:
I know you won't be okay that fast but I hope one day you will, my dear. Be like me and just don't bother about him anymore because it's really not worth thinking honey. See you again, soon :D

For Mr Broken-Record:
You repeat the same old thing to different people so when do you really mean it? Uh, whatever. I can't believe I'm still writing about you.

 

[

Current Mood

|

loved

]

Yesterday was awesome! Happy belated 18th birthday to my best friend, Shalihin. 8 years of friendship and still counting :DDD
So early in the morning yesterday, I received an sms from Hidayat. "Eli, today shalihin's birthday." So I went,"Yeah, so? Why tell me? Wish him lah." I thought he has become gay or something after his attachment. Haha. But nah. He said,"I know lah. We surprise him, you want?" Of course I want!

An hour later, we were already choosing a suitable birthday cake for Shalihin. When we arrived at birthday boy's void deck, Hidayat called him asking him to come down because he had something urgent to tell him. This birthday boy took about half an hour to come down I tell you. We also don't know what was he doing up there. Tsk tsk tsk. So when he came down, we hid behind a pillar. As usual, he and his blur face was searching for Hidayat. Haha. Damn funny I tell you. You should check out his face. We couldn't stop laughing behind the pillar, seriously. Then there was no sight of him. When suddenly somebody from behind shouted,"OI!" Hidayat and me were shocked. Damn. Instead of us surprising him, he surprised us. Gosh, we shouldn't have laughed so loud. Haha.

So yeah, there were only the three of us. You might say boring but for me, it was totally awesome. I had my two best friends with me. I'm grateful that Shalihin has moved nearer to Hidayat, Ezuin and me :D So now I have all my best friends surrounding me. Opps, did I miss the one at Bishan? Yes, I did. Oh great, now I'm starting to miss him. It feels like an eternity since I last met Fadhli. Sigh. Bishan Bishan. Ever since you've moved, I have always wished that there's a bus that goes straight from Bishan to BP and back again. I know we often sms and chat on msn but it just feels different. Because you're just the best of the four best friends that I have. I know you know ):

Okay what ever it is, I'm glad that I have four wonderful, amazing and superb best best best friends <3
Maybe I should call them the Fantastic 4. Yes, the Fantastic 4! Three guys and a girl. What a coincidence :DDD

[

Current Mood

|

sick

]

And so I didn't come to school again today ):
The flu was already a torture for me and now, I'm short of breath. For the first time, I don't feel like eating though I'm hungry. Hehe. From bad to worse. I hardly can breathe. I hope I'll get well soon before Monday because I can't afford to miss class again. The waiting time at polyclinic was horrible. I spent almost two hours there, mostly waiting. When I went in, the doctor asked what's wrong with me which is like standard and so I said what was necessary and guess what she said. "You don't look sick." Asshole. My heart was aldready thumping like mad and she said that? Wth. I know many people don't believe if I say I'm sick because I usually don't look sick. I'm sick!

Gosh, I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating :\

[	Current Mood	|	pleased	]
[	Current Music	|	Down - Jay Sean	]

I think I’m ready to be the girl I used to be. The one who never cried, never got mad about dumb things and the one who never stops smiling.The girl who loves to seek refuge in silence because she feels safer that way, because it calms her down.The girl who used to be too strong to cry but too weak to admit pain.The girl who is awkward about how she feels, who takes a lot to be honest about her feelings, who don't fall for people so easily and the girl who keeps her heart guarded.You know, I just realized that my stupid heartache is nothing, nothing, compared to so many of the other crazy things that are happening in this world right now. Like the natural disaster in Philippines.
I have to stop being so selfish. 

I find myself inherently still thinking about it. I can't snap out of it because I don't realise that I'm actually thinking about it. Doesnt really make sense, hah?

It's not as if i don't receive them anymore. I do on random occasions. But I forgot about them in a matter of a day or two. Well at least, I forced myself to because I learnt my lesson as to not to think so much about things. But this particular one, it impacted me way much more. Mostly because of the content. Hmm. Like I said, I can't even force myself to stop thinking about it because I don't even realise that I'm doing so.

Aiyo, why did you have to do such a thing? The least I need now is distraction of this form. The thought of getting back to square one scares the hell out of me.

There's so much to it than just that.

P.S. I miss my JJC friends ):

Just a cute little quote that I found a long time ago and just remembered. It really is true. If you can easily fall out of love with a person then I doubt you were really in love. I hate it when people say "I loved her" or "I loved him" or especially "we were in love". You either still love them or you never did. The word love is so often overused. My philosphy is: say it if you mean it, and only if you mean it. Never say "I love you" to satisfy someone else. On the other hand, if you do mean it, tell that person all the time. Let them know you care. Haha. So there is a little look inside my head and my random thoughts that float around in there. Sometimes I wonder is this what they call love or is it just another phantasm?

Okay, that was just something random that I came out with which I think caters to everyone of you out there.
Maybe, one day I shall write a book filled with my philosophies and sell it.
hahaha. wth?